The desi society now is breaking the norms and moving towards a more progressive society, where women are mostly embracing their sexualities, something that has always been seen as a taboo and something that women have been shamed for since forever.
I am not saying there are still no restrictions or sex isn’t considered to be a taboo anymore, it still exists but what I’m saying is that desi boys and girls are more open minded and sex isn’t just confined to marriage anymore.
Sex solely for pleasure is being normalized and hookup culture is becoming a thing. Different things work for different people. Some people are more inclined towards forming proper relationships before they come to sex, while others are just into hookups.
Obviously there are pros and cons of it, just like literally anything in the world that exists.
People need to understand that everybody is different and it is super important to take things out in the open and allow yourself and other people to go out and live their lives.
Here’s a little story that I always wanted to narrate but maybe was too scared to put it out there. I have had a relationship and I have had hookups (not at the same time, of course) and they both taught me different things.
Hookups built character (hoe life forever!), no, really. It helped me understand what and what I didn’t need and what was I exactly looking for.
It helped me understand my sexuality better, it helped me grow and it also helped me realize the toxic circle of relationships that people usually get stuck into.
Some days I just craved the emotional understanding and a deeper intimacy, an intimacy beyond just sex, other days I would want nothing but sex.
Been into awkward situations where men wanted more than sex and I didn’t.
Over time I learnt to keep my emotions and sex separate. It was super important. You see, that’s the thing.
There is nothing wrong with wanting casual sex. Sex is a basic human need. However, if you feel not okay with it, don’t do it but also don’t police other people.
As a society we need more sex positivity focused on consensual intimacy and accessible reproductive health care.
Casual fun can be super fun and it can help you explore your sexuality more than anything else, you just have to embrace it, and let go of the fear that holds you back.
But be careful about whom you are hooking up with. Here are some tips to keep yourself safe.
I know it can be hard if you belong to a desi culture where literally everybody judges you, but it is super important for somebody to know your whereabouts. Find that one (1) person whom you can confide in. Share your live location if comfortable. Better be safe than sorry.
Always Keep Your Phone with You
Always keep your phone with you but also make sure it is charged. There is no use to keep a phone if it isn’t charged. Make sure to double check your phone when you leave the house. Keep your charger with you for emergencies (hope it doesn’t come to that though).
Social Media is an amazing tool so be smart and use it. Stalk the person you are hooking up with, on social media (just make sure you don’t end up like reacting to any of their posts. It is honestly very creepy and do NOT tell them you stalked them on social media. Do it but be very discreet about it).
It will give you a lot of insight regarding their personality and it will tell you a lot about their interests.
Maybe you can find some mutual friends? It actually happened to me. I mean what are the odds? But honestly it does work.
Social media is a representation of who you are as a person. A person is known by the company he keeps.
So it is important to know about the person and who they are before you go and hookup with them and before you go all nasty (in a good way ;))
Run on the First Sight of Red Flag
This is super important. Most women keep up with it because they want to give everybody a chance even when men don’t deserve it. Prioritize yourself.
Put yourself forward and run at the first sign of the red flag. Your safety is extremely important and it should be your top priority.
Never be afraid to say no to something you don’t want to do and no matter when you say it.
Don’t be afraid to walk out on that mid date if you feel uncomfortable. A no is a no and it doesn’t matter when you say it, it should be respected.
Watch out for the signs. You are important and you deserve so much more that some random dude bro trynna mess you up.
Always Keep Condoms in Your Bag
Protecting is super important unless you are actually planning to conceive (and trust me, you don’t want that to happen in a desi family).
Better be safe than sorry (and I’ll say that again). Consider going on a long term birth control if you are planning on hooking up though, it is always the safest option.
And who know if you two actually connect you might end up getting married? ;) Where did you find the love of your life? Let us know in the comments below.