We all can relate to the Shadi hassles. They are terrible, and so are some Shadi guests. But, despite the fact of how annoying they are, they make our functions so-called memorable. As wedding season seems to wind down, let us have a look at some of the typical kinds of Shaadi guests that are spotted at every desi wedding events.
Some of these guests we can relate to our own Shaadi guests, and some remind us of our friends or family. And then there are some that we just avoid(yes, that annoying af Rishta Aunties). So, without jabbering anymore, let just begin it:
We all know all those dancers at the wedding who are all set to start at any time. All they need is just some song playing, and their body starts moving on it. Be it choreographed medleys or casual moves at the drop of a music beat; this kind just needs an excuse to break into dance.
The Diva is there to win the show from the Dulhan as the most bedecked and most filmed. Instagram will hastily be covered by pictures of her with her very own hashtag. The main and only moto of this Diva guest is to take perfect Selfies and picture of the Day to go on her DP; because after all DP should be LIT.
We all experience that Shuda who may or may not know how to take professional photographs; but have a DSLR hung all the time. It's because this is the coolest way to keep a good amount of girls after you; who will not stop posing for pictures. Marriage functions are a fabulous place to show off your cool, pricey AF camera. It’s also the only thing that separates you from our next type.
We all know how much efforts do ladies make to look their best at the wedding functions. From that doll-like hairstyle to high pencil heels, girls painstakingly put together their looks and spends hours at the salons and whatnot! And all of those THARKIES are there just to stare these drop-dead gorgeous girls like a total Besharam.
Source: The Desi Wedding Journal
Then there come the most real people for whom dances, groupies and other festivities are all a mere distraction fro the main event, which is the KHAANA. The moment the waiters begin to heat the food, these people(including me) can feel the adrenaline level rises up, and they anticipate the mad scramble to heap your plate full of food. All they do is wait hard to hear from anyone, Khaana Khulgaya Hai!!!!!!!!!!!
There are three categories in which we put these gatecrashers:
a. Bored AF and looking for a bit of poondi and free ka khana.
b. Butthurt escorts and relatives who weren’t summoned to the event but will show up so that they can spite the hosts.
c. Both of the categories as mentioned earlier.
Unlike all those gatecrashers who can't wait to attend all the events of Shaadi; this type of guests would rather spend the whole of their evening at home in their jammies and introverting. They just go and show their faces to hosts so that they can keep up with their terms, give that Salami ka Lifafa and rush back to home.
And then we have that killing looks wali Saali who keeps her eyes on the Dulha's shoes throughout the function. She keeps on strategizing how to get her hand on that pair of shoes(Foot fetishist, no?). After getting succeeded, she will not waste any time and start haggling and hounding the Larkey Waley mercilessly for the substantial cash. And then that bargaining begins and sometimes end up with phadda!
How can we forget all those gossipers in desi weddings? From those judging comments on everybody's weight and their dresses to all the personal and fabricated information about the bride and groom; these gossip maatas know it all; the biggest mill of #FakeNews!
You can throw the most ideal wedding celebration ever, but the critic will somehow find some keera in it. There will always be that needs to be improved according to that critic. If you arrange a lavish setup, you will get to hear comments like "haye haye paisa phenkrahe hain! And if you make it all simple, the critic will be quick to label you as Kanjoos. So, chill, do what makes you happy because the critic will never be.
Wedding venues are the hunting spots of the Rishta Auntie. Be cautious of all those nosy women stalking you and asking very personal questions. No matter how much you avoid them, they are besharam enough to approach you and find you even from underground.
Wondering which type you fall into? Don't keep it to you please. Do let us know in the comments below.