Struggling with online dating? Once you’ve got a great profile written and some good photos chosen, the major thing likely to be holding you back is sending bad first messages. Many people on dating sites especially women are flooded with communiqué, so you have to set yourself apart from the crowd.
Here are 5 tips for crafting a first message that will get you noticed and hopefully, will get you a reply!
If you’re messaging someone, it must be because you saw something in their profile that piqued your interest: a cute smile, a funny joke, a smart reference. Pick out one or more distinct traits to compliment them on, and make sure your compliment is actually sincere! It’s best to emphasize something that most other people probably don’t notice it’ll show your crush that you’re perceptive and actually interested in them.
You’re unlikely to impress if your message seems like it could have been copy-and-pasted to anyone. Stand out in a sea of Hey and Sup? by mentioning something from their profile or one of their photos. They put effort into crafting their profile; don’t ignore it!
It’s nice to be complimented and noticed, but that’s probably not enough on its own to win you a response. Draw your message recipient’s attention to qualities you have that they might find interesting. Maybe you both love the same goofy TV show, maybe you’ve both backpacked through Europe, or maybe you think you can give them a run for their money at their favorite board game. If you play this right, you could even segue it into an idea for a date!
The rest of your message is essentially useless without this, because you’re far likelier to get a response if you give the person something to respond to! Avoid generic questions like How’s your week going? and try something more precise and tailored to your recipient, like What did you think of the latest Avengers movie? or Who do you think is today’s Hemingway? If your question is interesting enough, you may even motivate your crush to answer it even if they’re not terribly swayed by the rest of your message. And then you’ve got your foot in the door!
With these tips under your belt, you’re in a much better place to write messages that are not only interesting but that actually get you replies!