A good first date can feel like nothing short of magic: the conversation flows, the chemistry sparkles, and the future seems bright. A bad first date, meanwhile, can be anything from “a great story that’ll make your friends laugh when you tell them about it” to “a trauma you never speak of again.” First dates matter!
With that in mind, here are 5 mistakes you should never make on a first date. Hopefully your paramours avoid these behaviors too!
Be late. Showing up late to a date – like showing up late to a job interview – isn’t just rude; it’s potentially disastrous. You’re showing your date that you don’t respect their time, don’t take dating seriously, and are disorganized. No one wants to date someone like that! If something comes up and you have to be late, send your date a respectful, apologetic message explaining the situation and provide a reasonable estimate for when you think you’ll get there. Hopefully they’re willing to cut you some slack.
Complain. Negativity is an almost universally unattractive trait. Sure, life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, but first dates are for putting your best foot forward – and that means keeping the mood light. Talk about things that excite you, things you’re looking forward to, things you’ve enjoyed lately – and ask your date what’s got them all fired up. You’ll come across as fun and uplifting, instead of a downer!
Talk about yourself too much. As writer Alison Stevenson says, “If you leave a date and can’t list five things you just learned about her, that wasn’t a date. That was a one-man show, and chances are there won’t be an encore.” Presumably you’re on a date with this person because you find them interesting – so show them that! Ask them questions about themselves and their life. Not only is it polite and engaging; it’ll also give you a better sense of whether you want to see them again.
Be rude to the wait staff. Your potential sweetheart usually isn’t the only person you’ll interact with on a date. You may also exchange words with a barista, bartender, or waiter – and even if they mess something up, they’re just trying their best. Not only is it unnecessarily harsh to chastise these people; it also shows your date that you’re mean-spirited, uncharitable, and pessimistic by nature. Is that how you want them to see you?
Lie. Not all first dates meander to heavy subjects like “What are you looking for, long-term?” but if yours does, you should be prepared to tell the truth. Don’t say you’re looking to date casually if you’re not. Don’t say you want marriage or kids if you’re not certain you do. Be honest, so you and your date can both ensure it’s a good match before continuing to pursue each other.
What mistakes have you made on first dates? How did you bounce back from them (if indeed you did) ? Please share in comments.