12 Struggles Every Desi Girl Can Relate To
Being a desi isn’t easy and it is so much harder especially when you are a desi girl. The struggle of being a desi girl is real and men and the people who aren’t desi can’t really get it because they haven’t been there. A lot of these struggles revolve around patriarchy and a patriarchal society. Desi families are often more conservative and women are expected to conform to specific gender roles. Breaking out of it is extremely hard for women; some get lucky but others just have to deal with it. Here are some of the struggles that every desi girl can relate to.
No matter how old you are, playing around with the dough to make a perfect gol roti is still a struggle and double the struggle when mom’s standing right there telling you when she was your age she took care of the entire house and you couldn’t even make a gol roti and that would surely make you doubt your entire existence.
Having a boyfriend in a desi family is like having a secret treasure (don’t get your hopes up, guys); you literally cannot tell anybody about it and it would be a war. You have to keep it hidden, no one can know, you might as well save his name as ‘’the one who must not be named’’ in your phone because if your family found anybody about him, it’ll be death for you, if not death, then a huge family drama for sure.
No matter whether you are sixteen or twenty-six, if you are a desi woman you’ll always have a curfew at night and it will all be blamed to the society and how it is not safe out there but you will also be pushed to go meet uncle Jamshed who have always made you uncomfortable, but since he is family you just got to deal with it.
If you are a desi girl of a marriageable age, you probably already have spent half your life dodging this relative or a cousin. The cousin who is the potential husband and there would always be this one cousin who will have a one-sided crush on you and you’ll change the way every time you see him coming at you.
If you are a desi girl, you are certainly more scared of your dad than you are of your mom. You might be able to argue with your mom on some things and have your way out but arguing with dad is a very scary position to be in; abort the mission, I say, abort mission!
While your brother has their ways to get out of a family gathering, you always end up being emotionally blackmailed into attending every single family function and you are never allowed to stay behind because obviously, people's reaction is greater than your autonomy.
Personal space is the last thing that desi families get, so if you are planning to keep a journal or a secret diary, I would say to abort mission and keep an e-journal instead, but make sure your younger sibling doesn't get any access to it because you certainly would have to bribe them into not telling anybody anything.
I don’t know just how many times have my mom asked whom am I talking to while I was on my phone, smiling at all these memes. Smiling at your phone is more dangerous than a mean girl spreading rumors about you and this random guy you do not even know. Practice not smiling at the phone, no matter how good the meme is and you’ll be good when you are actually talking to your secret treasure.
There will always be this cousin in family your mom will give you all the examples of but only you know what the truth actually is. Aunty Salma’s daughter is not as pious as your mom thinks her to be but she also happens to be your best friend, so yeah.
If you are born desi than no motto can fit you better than ‘’food is life,’’ but it is hard when people all around are fatphobic. It is a shame that women cannot even eat without being shammed about it. Your weight will always be a concern for your 109 family relatives.
I just don’t understand the obsession of desi aunties with white skin. They will sure as anything tell you the ‘’natural’’ remedies to get rid of the dark skin but none of that would work expect their hostility towards the dark skin making you hate yourself more than you used to before. Every time you see the Canada wali aunty your self-esteem falls faster than the roller coaster during a ride.
If you are a desi single woman, you cannot absolutely dodge this question. You will be asked that over and over again until you would want to kill either yourself or the other people and if you are already married then it will be about kids and if you have one kid, it will be about one more kid. The cycle never stops and there is pretty much nothing you can do to stop it other than maybe distancing yourself from everybody but they’ll still find a way to get to you.